$INTERN

▮

Duties: coffee, copies, hope — Salary: pending

Until now. A minimum wage of $1 USDC behind every token, and payroll every 8 hours.

Years unpaid

Official Hiring Day countdown

--D --:--:--

“pretty much locked in” — HR

HIRING DAY — SOON 𝕏 @UnpaidSince87 CLOCK IN →

BASE · INTERN/USDC · RESERVE-BACKED · est. OCT 19, 1987

INTERN <GO> · SPEC SHEETLIVE QUOTES AT GENESIS

MINIMUM WAGE (FLOOR): $1.00 USDC
PAYROLL EVERY: 8 HOURS
MAX PAY PER SHIFT: 0.45%
PAY AT/UNDER BACKING: 0%
BUY TAX: 5%
EXIT TAX BY SENIORITY: 10% → 1%
ESPP DISCOUNT: 3%–4%
SEVERANCE BID: NAV −1.5%

┌─[ SECTION 01 — PERSONNEL ]

THE STORY

Retrieved from a filing cabinet nobody has opened since the Reagan administration.

HUMAN RESOURCES — CONFIDENTIAL EMPLOYEE RECORD

VISITOR

(badge never upgraded)

Employee №: #404
Hired: OCT 19, 1987 — Black Monday. Great first day, kid.
Position: Intern (39 consecutive years)
Reports to: Every broker on the floor, simultaneously
Duties: Coffee. Copies. Hope.
Salary: PENDING ▮
Performance review: “Great work kid, we'll talk about compensation next quarter.” ×… quarters
Promotion track: Under review since 1987 (checked quarterly, allegedly)

He walked onto the trading floor on the worst day in market history, was handed a coffee pot, and told to “stick around, we'll sort out the paperwork.” The paperwork is still being sorted. The brokers made fortunes, lost them, and made them again. The intern became… still the intern. He has seen every crash, every rally, every ponzi, and every holiday party he wasn't invited to. He no longer wants a promotion. He wants what is owed — in writing, enforced by something HR can't overrule. So he wrote it into a contract nobody can edit: a treasury that pays a minimum wage, a payroll that runs every 8 hours, and seniority that actually counts.

┌─[ SECTION 02 — OPERATIONS ]

HOW THE OFFICE PAYS FOR ITSELF

One loop, two valves. Every arrow is a contract call anyone can make.

1TRADES
Every buy pays 5%, every sell 1%–10% by seniority.
2TREASURY
The tax is swapped to USDC and banked. More USDC per token = higher backing.
3PREMIUM
When the market pays more than backing, that gap is the premium the payroll runs on.
4PAYROLL
Stakers are paid every 8h from the premium. Seniority keeps them on staff — and trading.

↺ back to 1 — the loop has no off switch, and no on switch either

VALVE ↑ — ESPP (ABOVE BACKING)

Senior staff buy from the treasury 3%–4% under market but never under backing. Every sale adds more USDC than it adds tokens.

VALVE ↓ — SEVERANCE (BELOW BACKING)

The treasury buys INTERN back at backing −1.5% and burns it. Fewer tokens, slightly more backing for each one left.

┌─[ SECTION 03 — COMPENSATION (FINALLY) ]

THE COMPENSATION PACKAGE

After 39 years, a real package. Every line below is enforced by a contract nobody can change — not HR, not us.

MINIMUM WAGE

Every $INTERN is backed by at least $1 of USDC in the treasury. The contracts refuse to mint past that line.

READ THE 10-K →

PAYROLL

Clock in and get paid every 8h by rebase — up to 0.45% per shift when the market pays a premium, nothing when it doesn't. One shift of probation first.

CLOCK IN →

SENIORITY

An on-chain score from 0 to 100. It grows while you hold (faster on payroll) and cuts your exit tax from 10% down to 1%.

CHECK YOUR BADGE →

ESPP

From seniority 20, buy straight from the treasury 3%–4% under market, never under backing, vesting over 2 days.

BENEFITS OFFICE →

SEVERANCE

If the market drops below backing, the treasury buys INTERN back at backing − 1.5% and burns it. A bid under the floor, built in.

EXIT INTERVIEW →

COMING SOON

THE COFFEE POT

The games layer: every 3 hours one employee takes the whole pot. Separate contract — coming after genesis.

PEEK IN →

┌─[ SECTION 04 — WITHHOLDING ]

THE FEE SCHEDULE

Every trade through the pool pays tax. All of it ends up as USDC in the reserve — minus the team's shrinking cut.

PAYROLL DEPT. — STATEMENT OF WITHHOLDINGEST. 1987

BUY TAX — EVERYONE	5%
SELL TAX — Intern	10%
SELL TAX — Junior Analyst	7%
SELL TAX — Associate	4%
SELL TAX — Vice President	2%
SELL TAX — Partner	1%
TEAM SHARE OF TAX	80% → 20%
NET TO THE PAYROLL RESERVE	THE REST

* sell tax slides smoothly between grades as your seniority score moves.

* team share decays linearly over the first 30 days after genesis.

* wallet-to-wallet transfers, staking and ESPP are not taxed.

THIS IS NOT A CHECK. (but the paychecks are real now.)VOID

┌─[ SECTION 05 — ONBOARDING ]

EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

How to get on payroll. Please read before your first shift. Nobody reads it. Read it.

GET USDC ON BASE

Withdraw USDC from any exchange to Base — it's the reserve currency — plus a little ETH for gas. Connecting here switches your wallet to the right network.

GET HIRED

Join Hiring Day (the genesis offering, early hires pay less), or buy on the INTERN/USDC pool once it opens. [ UNISWAP: link at genesis ] Verify the CA in the footer first.

CLOCK IN

Stake on Payroll, sit out one shift of probation, then get paid every 8h while your seniority climbs and your exit tax falls. Welcome aboard.